Dangerghost

If any of you have been following along somewhat closely, or know me personally, you know that I:

1. Eat Horribly
2. Do not have the physique of Brad Pitt circa Fight Club
3. Am Older (Age-wise. The jury is still out on my age, maturity-wise)
4. Love Soda

I point out these flaws to show you how much of a health nut I Am Not. That being said, I’m going to go into health mode anyway, and discuss vitamins and how they pertain to me. I’m no nutritionist or doctor, so I won’t get technical on you.

About a year (or so) ago, I started taking one multivitamin. I happened to be at Costco for random food/supplies and passed the nutrition section. As simple as that I bought the Kirkland brand you see above. One pill a day, & I was good to go as far as the bare minimum of essential vitamins/minerals were concerned. Since then, I’ve stepped up my workout game and figured I should at least take another step in a positive direction with my vitamins/minerals. Also, I ran out of supply, so I had to go and re-up on my essentials. This time, this is what I came out with:

Inside, this sucker has “5 Tablets & 2 Softgels Per Packet”. From 1 pill, to 7. Yes, it’s a bit daunting, but check out the system upgrade I just hooked myself up with:

• Multivitamin/Multimineral: Like getting a health bonus in a video game. 31 ass-kicking nutrients, like whoa.
• Vitamin E: Contributes to cardiovascular health by basically acting like a flak jacket against cellular damage.
• [2] Calcium: So important, they make you take two! This is for your bones & helps reduce future Osteoporosis risk. Especially helpful for the ladies.
• Asian Ginseng: Shit hooks you up with some energy, mental alertness, & “well-being”. Half of you already drink this tea, so you know how bomb it is.
• B-50: More energy, plus this shit is “necessary for normal functioning of the nervous system.” Hot Damn!
• Vitamin C: 500mg of straight Health Napalm!! If you’re afraid of Cancer, taking this motherfucker is like calling in The Wolf, it solves problems (and prevents them!).

If that weren’t enough already, for some reason I also got a store of Omega 3 Fish Oil. I’ve heard an awful lot about this stuff. I know it sounds kinda gross, but I also know a bunch of weight-lifters, an amateur MMA fighter, & a handful of trainers that all include this in their diet. It hooks up your Heart, Joints, Brain, & Skin (ladies). It says you’re to take it 3 times a day, but it was suggested that I start with it once-a-day and work my way up to twice, and eventually thrice daily. Side Note: If you can, avoid opening the bottle & taking a big whiff of it. Trust me.

I know this seems like a ton of stuff, but trust me, all you have to do is take it. Even if you don’t work out. Even if you’re a smoker. Even if you weigh 400 lbs. Even if you’re a boy. Even if you’re a girl. Even if you’re a business person. Even if you’re a hipster.

I know we all have bad habits and we’re all somewhat lazy, so at the very least, this is probably the easiest (and cheapest) thing you can do for yourself with the best results. I want you all to live as long as possible. Pretty please, with sugar on top.